{"id":719,"date":"2019-02-17T19:22:38","date_gmt":"2019-02-17T19:22:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/?p=719"},"modified":"2019-02-18T12:29:26","modified_gmt":"2019-02-18T12:29:26","slug":"oblibene-vtipy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/2019\/02\/17\/oblibene-vtipy\/","title":{"rendered":"N\u011bco pro zasm\u00e1n\u00ed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Medv\u011bd a vr\u00e1na<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Na such\u00e9m strom\u011b nad propast\u00ed Grand Canyonu sed\u00ed vr\u00e1na. Po chv\u00edli p\u0159ijde pod strom medv\u011bd.
„Vr\u00e1na, hele co to tam d\u011bl\u00e1\u0161?“ pt\u00e1 se medv\u011bd.
„Ale, coby“ odpov\u00ed vr\u00e1na „j\u00e1 tady machruju.“
„Hele vr\u00e1na“ pov\u00edd\u00e1 na to medv\u011bd „moh’ bych tu chv\u00edli machrovat s tebou?“
Vr\u00e1na si poposedne na v\u011btvi a odpov\u00ed:“Ale jo, pro\u010d ne“.
Tak medv\u011bd vyleze na strom, sedne si na v\u011btev vedle vr\u00e1ny. Chv\u00edli tam tak spolu machrujou a pak se v\u011btev ulom\u00ed. Oba dva za\u010dnou padat dol\u016f. Kdy\u017e jsou asi tak v polovin\u011b p\u00e1du, za\u010dne vr\u00e1na m\u00e1vat k\u0159\u00eddly a vzn\u00e1\u0161et se.
Medv\u011bd se div\u00ed: „Vr\u00e1no, co se to d\u011bje todle to, jak jako co te\u010f???“
„No jo medv\u011bde, nem\u00e1\u0161 k\u0159\u00eddla, nemachruj“
\ud83d\ude42 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

V pou\u0161ti<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plaz\u00ed se dva kovbojov\u00e9 pou\u0161t\u00ed, z posledn\u00edch sil jeden z nich pov\u00edd\u00e1:
„Joe, vyst\u0159el, snad n\u00e1s n\u011bkdo usly\u0161\u00ed“.
„Nem\u016f\u017eu Georgi, do\u0161ly mi \u0161\u00edpy!“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My\u0161ka a krtek<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hrabe si my\u0161ka novou noru, kolem jde zaj\u00edc.
„My\u0161ko pro\u010d si nezajde\u0161 ke krtkovi a nep\u016fj\u010d\u00ed\u0161 si jeho lopati\u010dku? \u0160lo by ti to l\u00edp!“
„No to je pravda“, \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 si my\u0161ka a b\u011b\u017e\u00ed ke krtkovi. Cestou si pov\u00edd\u00e1:
„Ten krtek je ale lakomec, co kdy\u017e mi tu lopati\u010dku nep\u016fj\u010d\u00ed\u2026“ Jde d\u00e1l, ale za chv\u00edli si zase \u0159\u00edk\u00e1:
„Ten starej lakomec mi ji ur\u010dit\u011b nebude cht\u00edt p\u016fj\u010dit, j\u00e1 ho zn\u00e1m!“ No ale pokra\u010duje v cest\u011b:
„No ten lakomec lakomej mi ji ur\u010dit\u011b nep\u016fj\u010d\u00ed!!“ Dojde ke krtkovi, zazvon\u00ed, vyleze krtek, my\u0161ka ho fl\u00e1kne cihlou a za\u0159ve:
„Tak si tu lopati\u010dku se\u017eer, lakom\u010de!!!“ A ut\u00edk\u00e1 dom\u016f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Medv\u011bd a vr\u00e1na Na such\u00e9m strom\u011b nad propast\u00ed Grand Canyonu sed\u00ed vr\u00e1na. Po chv\u00edli p\u0159ijde pod strom medv\u011bd. „Vr\u00e1na, hele co to tam d\u011bl\u00e1\u0161?“ pt\u00e1 se medv\u011bd. „Ale, coby“ odpov\u00ed vr\u00e1na „j\u00e1 tady machruju.“ „Hele vr\u00e1na“ pov\u00edd\u00e1 na to medv\u011bd „moh’ bych tu chv\u00edli machrovat s tebou?“Vr\u00e1na si poposedne na […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1098,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancak"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=719"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1099,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719\/revisions\/1099"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tulak.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}